An Overrated Change.

As a history student, what I am committing at this present moment of time is a sin. A Big Deadly sin. However, I feel that it is as important as ever that I publish this post. A post that I should have published 12 days ago. Oh well. I just hope that the Greek titan Kronos doesn't come eating me!

Kronos eating his babies

Change.

There is a certain ring to this word. I used to think that it was a normal part of our daily life. Something that I have become accustomed to, having changed from Grade 6 to Grade 7, Grade 9 to Grade 10. But this recent jump from Grade 11 to Grade 12, to college. This is just a little too much on me.

Truthfully, I’m scared shitless. Why the hell am I feeling this way? Haven’t I been the one who have always been outspoken during orientations? Kean Hong remembers me as the one who introduced himself first to everyone during our SIS orientation when we were assigned to groups. I guess people like Xiao Lin are so used to it, having changed schools for almost 7 times, an average of once a year.

But today is different.

I actually am in control of what I wear. No more uniforms, for almost like the rest of my life. I spent like a good 15 minutes thinking of how overdress or underdress I should be for college. In the end really, I just picked a checkered shirt that barely represents what I am. Jeans was the obvious suggestion from my dear cousin Esmond.

I guess, I’ve changed. After a really long heart to heart to talk with my cousin yesterday, I found out quite a lot about myself. First, I’m really a person who likes to be alone. Sometimes, I see myself crawl into a corner to study while my classmates are chit-chatting and discussing their future together during study period. It’s just weird, but I guess I’m not so much a party animal as I always thought I was.

Second, I’m moving out of my comfort zone. SIS has always been a great fishbowl for me. Dumping this strong fish into a bigger fishbowl of Sunway College… Well, that is a little too scary. I practically don’t know anyone in CIMP, except for Radhanath, Kean and Nelson. That sorts of comforts me, but I’m still super wary of my situation. Sure, Mr. V and Mr. Kondro is moving up to CIMP with us, but if I don’t see them today I’m scared that I would become as introverted as a little kid going to Grade 1 for the first time.

Decisions. Why did I graduate? Perhaps I should have failed all my courses so I can be in my SIS comfort zone for another 6 months. But then again, the school uniform has changed and I really don’t want to pay extra money for tuition just because we are in a new building. Hmph.

Time is ticking, and time isn’t particularly on my side. I’ve done my hair, a really simple look, not spiky at all as I wanted to. Oh well. I just hope there isn’t a fashion police who will catch me when I walk in for looking too sloppy or anything. It’s time to face college, Sunway College.

Wish me luck.

P/S: If you didn't get why I mentioned "I just hope that the Greek titan Kronos doesn't come eating me", well, it's because Kronos doesn't like people who mess up chronology, and I'm messing it up by doing this post after I did my library post. 

P/SS: I promise I won't do it again! :)